Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
