Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
