it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
