I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
