what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
