Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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