Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
