i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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