Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need water and some morals
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
