My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
