Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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