What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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