And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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