Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
