I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
