not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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