Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
