I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
