so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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