I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
