i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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