So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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