I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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