the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
