thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
