There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
