I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Everclear isn't food dammit
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
