i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
