I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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