pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
