I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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