we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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