And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
