...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we're making bets on your personal life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
