Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
