You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
