I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
