I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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