the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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