Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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