Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
