You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
