we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
