Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
