Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
