Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
