I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
