xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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