btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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