we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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