Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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