No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
